yesterday and today i decided to log onto aim again to get back into that social scene.  jason was on, of course, and he messaged me with his stupid lazy gibberish.  we didn't really talk yesterday but we had a longer conversation today.  i didn't know how to say i didn't want to talk to him, because he didn't do anything blatantly insulting.  that's how it always is when i talk to him; he tricks me into participating and then gets away with being an asshole.  i'm so tired of being mad.  i was actually relieved when i thought i would never see him again!  too bad that trip only lasted a week.

i don't want to avoid the internet just because he's there.  partly i'm mad because i stopped logging on so i wouldn't have to talk to him.  every time i see him or talk to him i end up too pissed off to sleep.  i'm also upset because i think spending so much time online is what set him off, but it could be genetic.  i have fantasies about fighting with him where i finally blow up and break it off once and for all.  i've already told him twice that i can't be friends anymore, but i guess he wasn't listening then, either.  i can't keep in touch with him or i will never be happy, but if i don't have some contact, i won't know when he fails.

it might sound like this is really unrequited love keeping me awake at night, but i know that this isn't love.  i truly hate him.  i want him to hurt the way i do; i want revenge.  it makes me angry that he can be entirely self-absorbed and get away with it.  i want other people to see through his act and scorn him.  i hope that someday he will regret pushing me away, but if he really is insane, i don't think he ever will.  

>:[

check out my sweet zerg wallpaper




"if a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"
  -  laurence peter 

im going home for the weekend!  i get to see my cat

i cant sleep
i cant work

i wish my parents had sent me to boyscouts.

http://www.animatedknots.com/

im learning how to draw and how to write javascript. someday these two skills might become useful in some way.

pop

the vagina picture is gone.  maybe someone bought it.

why do people get upset when they find out that a game called GRAND THEFT AUTO has sex in it?  it's not like it was appropriate for kids in the first place.  i think some people didn't even look at the game while they were buying it. i mean, it has guns and whorey women on the front.  why is a sex simulator worse than the part of the game that rewards you for shooting cops and stealing cars?

california penal code

are people surprised that a game called NARC has drugs in it?  i think they should make stupidity illegal.  if you can't read, you shouldn't be allowed to sue people over it.